Earth sucks more than hell. I hate the people in it, and best of all I love how it hands you plates of shit all at once. People are cruel and empty. Even now as things seem to be getting better. I love how it effects everyone around you, or people just can’t express themselves. The lack of creativity hurts the most.

No one ever sees things as they really are, but only as they see it. I don’t think I need to hand out examples. I’m sick of seeing mediocre artists, or even dealing with overly pristine people. The “this is how it is or nothing “people. You can’t learn to be something, you just are. You don’t fucking wake up in the morning and decide you want to be something. Cards are there to hold and place down at good times, if its not time to hand your card, don’t do it.

People think were all made of the same substance, the world thinks we all have the same drive.. When really I don’t get it at all, I don’t understand peoples drive. “Lets go to college, have many friends, get a job that pays you tons of money, have a huge house and start a family.” Wouldn’t you think, living life to its fullest would be best, to get up and do everything before its too late.. Nothings going to just stand there and wait for you, you have to go to it in order to get what you want.

I mean if you wish to wait till you retire, good for you, you’re also going to die soon. You’re done slaving your whole life, spending most of it in school. Now you’re done working at a job you didn’t truly like.

Don’t get me wrong I love my job, I adore the people I work with, for that matter I love that I can connect with everyone and they all aren’t convinced I’m a shitty person. (which in itself blows my mind) I just hate the dress code, it’s a music store. Creative people work there, creative people shop there. I think the world needs to stop being so afraid of what is out there. People, places, things, and best of all there is a whole world.. Out there

I wish I knew what is coming. I’m ready to lace my boots and go. Pack up my bags and get in the van and drive. I have a lot of people rolling their eyes at me, yeah you know. I’m planning on living in a van, crossing the country one state at a time. *the country I fucking hate* I think I’m going to publish a book with blogs and photos of me meeting people and seeing things… I’ll call it “The United States- through the eyes of someone who wants to love it”

I believe I can find everything I need out there, I’m so trapped and I couldn’t begin to explain how restricted I feel here. I’ve been lost for years and suddenly I woke up from a coma… and discovered I needed to go for it instead of wait. I don’t care if I’m homeless selling my art on the streets. I refuse to be around drugs or alcohol so don’t call me a junkie, just because I don’t want the college life. I don’t care about success… I only care about what I want, and that’s ultimate freedom. Don’t tell me how dangerous it is for a young female either, I’m smart and I’m a fucking boxer…. bring it on.

Sometimes it hurts so much, I don’t think I can stand another night here, I fight it and I fight it. It gets so bad I think I could die. This is all I can stand. I think I’m in a mess, I feel hidden and I hate that I’m so far from the rest of the world. I’ve only seen a piece… now where are you? What are you doing with yourself?

Where are you going?

I’m anywhere but here.






“You wanna run away, run away
Just get on the fucking train and leave today
And it doesn't matter where you spend the night
You just might end up somewhere in a fight, in a fight
Or calling your room on a concrete shelf
Fighting all alone, with yourself, with yourself
And you just wanna feel like a coin that's been tossed
In a wishing well, a wishing well
A wishing well, a wishing well
Well you're tossed in the air
And you fell and you fell
Through the dark blue waters
Where you cast your spell
Like you were just a wish that could turn out well”

Why the fuck can’t adults read or write correctly? People look like idiots and continue to prove me right. I love foolishness and I love when people completely make jerks of themselves but can admit it. But when people are so oblivious to this, I makes me want to smack them in the head with frozen AQUATIC ANIMALS. Like the people who work at (name removed by ipmNation.com for legal reasons) for a couple years.. (this I know because I work retail in the mall she works at) She can never get my fucking order right and her name is EASTER.. What the fuck is that?

First I’m pissed off because she fucks up my mocha latté and her fucking name is EASTER! I hope Easter burns herself horribly on a coffee pot.

That’s not even the worse of it. People no longer can make sense of the English language. I don’t get it, I don’t know what you’re trying to say to me when you misuse words I’m so used to seeing be used in proper context. You’re trying to shamefully build your own shitty little language, little do you understand its making you look like that four year old that failed his first word in the spelling Bee for spelling the word cook wrong. You abbreviate everything and you still make no sense. You know its bad when losers have to abbreviate the word TEXT by removing the letter E. If you do this… I hope you get shot at.

I wish we could still stone people, I would love to throw a few rocks at people. (even though I would have rocks thrown at me… invest in a fucking helmet if you’re smart)

The old people that have to shit themselves in public placed because they wont wear a diaper out because they’re a bunch of nasty fucking stroke victims. If god says kibby… let them fucking KIBBY. Shake it off grandpa, if Parkinson’s doesn’t do it for you the stroke will! (OK OK Norm I know you’re painting a red X on me.. But seriously admit it its true)

Here’s my solution for the people that make me want to throw rocks.

Mandatory suicide camps ! We drive around with a big sketchy white van and collect everyone and toss them in. give them sticks and tell them to beat themselves till all the candy falls out.

What sparks such insanity you ask? Shit like the name EASTER!


that’s what this whole thing is about really… fucking easter

Lately I’m beginning to feel as if the worlds about to stop, time is going to no longer be… for some reason this doesn’t frighten me. I’m ready for whatever happens, even if it’s mass famine, nuclear war, asteroid, whatever. I hear nothing coming from the media, I feel nothing from anyone on the streets. Humanity feels like its dieing.. Slowly and softly I can smell something is in the distance, but not far. (yet in not afraid if this makes sense.)

I’ve had apocalyptic lucid dreams of new world order, and war. Mass genocide also.

This haunts me, one in particular sticks in my head and it sometimes is all I can think of. Rebel groups who don’t believe in the so called new order, they’re targeted by the general public, it’s a total free for all.

I recall stopping at a gas station with my best friend (kat) we both walked in together and she walked over to the cashier, I looked at the clock and its about 8:12pm (down to the time) Her debit card wasn’t working so she had to walk across the street to go to the ATM, at the time I was alone in the srore with my friend Zeph and the cashier, her name tag read Lindsay, her hair long and brown pulled into a lazy pony tail, she was a bit thicker than I am. She told me about the new order and now its supposed to go into effect any time, I shrugged her off and stopped thinking for a moment before the power went out.


By this time I come to realize that a Kat has not returned, so I tried to run out to find her but they wouldn’t let me go alone. In the skies were helicopters pointing flashlights into buildings looking for the so called misfits to society (like the holocaust). I held my breath between a window and a dingle shelf, I waited for them to pass and than I headed out to the van it was a 1980something van with wood panels. My friend zeph got the doors open just in time for men to make it over on foot, we hid under the abundance of bags and old clothes in the back seat against the seats and floor till they were gone.

“We need to find her you know” my friend whispered tome, from there I struggled into the drivers seat in a state of panic I sped off to a local high school (having followed an armored truck there) I had to find a way in and by the time I found my way there were a bunch of naked girls in the gym, and the boys were being taken up stairs (how I got in untouched is still unknown. I asked around till someone explained to me it had been too late, she pointed to a door. I said its just a door, she told me to look on the back.

There was a plastic bio bag, inside the bag was what made the dream most haunting…

There I found my best friends remains, I knew they were hears because of her eyes… no ones eyes could effect me like hers do. The blue as thick as the sky on both good and bad days, they sooth you, and could just as easily cut you in half… inside this bag I stared into her looking back.. She had nothing.

I woke up screaming and crying in a cold sweat.


I mention this dream because its apocalyptic, as many of my thoughts lately. I think I just need to start my period.

Today I went to see watchmen, which took me back to my thoughts and dreams, the images of nuclear wars, and death. Done so beautifully… and still reminded me how close it feels.


Is our doomsday clock 5 before midnight?

Tonight at work a group of stank ass metal kids stole from us today!

Roar, first of all i get the economy sucks, but the idea that these people are willing to just steal from the bands they supposedly support? ( so much for that)

How does this make any sense? Maybe his brain fell out of his earlobes when he stretched them that big. That of his dreads were too tight. douche bags.

I love mall goth almost as much as i like having strep throat, they make me wish manslaughter were a fucking sport, if that were the case i would ne a trophy wielding pro.. I think someone needs to look at them with their shitty hot topic clothing and ask them if they even know who

Klaus Nomi is.. these kids who call themselves goth have no idea what the true meaning of goth even is, to me its a period in time and a style of art, music even. People are simply just. We can't put a name on individuality. I do believe in goth culture, but i don't believe in goth people. I'll admit it, i'm in love with the goth culture, the music, the creativity and the people you can meet that come from it.

If you claim to be of this culture you damn well better know what the fucking *bat cave* is, and or even know who *Andi Sex gang* is is because thats real shit right there.

Goth isn't always black lipstick, it comes in many shapes, sizes and colors. Best of all is HOT TOPIC can NOT sell this culture, it doesn't consist of cheap trashy corsets, and shitty looking hair dye jobs. These people know nothing about culture reality, just horrid fashion.

They steal from cultures and try to make it something its not, since when is it okay for 14 year old little girls to wear SKIN TIGHT pants to school? Why is this happening?

I know MTV has given punk an image its truly not, the Paramore generation and the fans that follow like an assembly line of badly made dolls.(ask me why i don't like paramore now) They single handedly took out an entire generation of young adults and dragged them into a false reality of bad music and stolen culture, making REAL punk rockers, and or even true emos look like SHIT.

Evanessanse, again another stolen image. since the late 90's they have been using their shitty sound, and shitty image to exploit false Gothic images, giving people the wrong idea of the culture.

A shitty female vocalist and a band thats even worse than her ability to sing one note has once again from the seams torn into another culture they themselves don't even understand.


Enough said about that. now that you've read about this shit, you should explore your musical culture history by checking into bands like

Peter Murphy

Klaus Nomi

Sopor Aeternus

45 GRAVE

symphony of terror

radio werewolf

Christian death

specimen.


@ www. projectplaylist. com

Muah!

Jerry O is the first man i ever fell in love with, that could never change. (ready for a book of sappy jerry onlyness) ha ha ha ha

I cant imagine a life without him :( i thought about him and how everyone dies and it killed me as if he were my father.

Its strange. The importance of that man in my life, HE is the reason I am who I am. I learned to appreciate and love those who inspire me and encourage me. I also learned to just go and do it instead of listen when others say no.

On many levels he's like my parents, specially when my parents were fighting because my father was an alcoholic, i would read his book "Get in the van and go". He would talk about what his inspirations were, and how he loved all his fans because he knows they're most important.

I related to him and his music the misfits took me away from reality. I cry thinking about how effective even a simple song can be when you're hurt. Reality was invisible when i threw on my headphones and listened to Hybrid moments, AMERICAN NIGHTMARE, even his solo stuff. Takes you away. Music a lot of people call senseless and violent its my escape.

I remember a couple years ago i saw them playing in NJ the day after my birthday. It was the 30th annaverSCARY tour, my goal was to touch him.

I got a ton of signed things and a HUGE hug from the man, he told me i was just as important to him as he is me. I walked away after kissing his cheek and i started to cry.

That was the BEST day of my life. (my eyes watter when i think of how happy i was)

so when im called a poser for loving jerry only and sporting a misfits tattoo,

they just don't know the significance, nor do they understand that Jerry O was the misfits ands A STILL is because Danzig will never know what it means.. its all about $$$ and no love. I don't feel anything when i hear his music, although i like it, i don't feel it.

ps- Jerry also did WCW wrestling back in the late 90's ALWAYS had his ass kicked :)

I’m going to start this blog with a question… Why do people walk children on leashes, also I don’t understand why 90% of the time I see this, it’s usually obese parents. (WHICH PISSES ME OFF).

I am so sick of people being morons, you would think more people would be shot if everyone were seriously fed up with it. The issue is people just don’t care, they no longer care about crappy parenting, just about as much as they care about what happens to the youth. The youth raised into this you would think them to try and save humanity, make it better? No they’re just as dumb as their parents.

The ghetto, it’s a rough place, if its so fucking rough don’t live there, that is unless you’re a fucking moron who loves violence, and lack of intelligence. I hear about so many people being raised in horrible neighborhoodz in the united states, they talk about the crimes, and the gangs. They hate it, but why is it that everyone is raising their kids around it? Its sad so many children never had a chance, nor willl they ever.

Parents raising kids in situations like this, I never grew up having money, nor did my mom or dad. We scraped by and still developed something called common sense. I got an education, and we worked for everything we have. You choose your life, you choose to raise your family like that, and you choose to lesser their education because of it. Think about it, its awful.

Tonight I’m heart felt, thinking about all I have worked for and still need to get by. But were always hearing about the famous people complaining about how bad they have it. I don’t think the pretty people understand whats going on today, you would think they’d see there IS something more.

Parents no longer hold their children’s hands, there are these things called AMBER ALERTS, parents don’t attach to children they way they should. And when they do, I find they aren’t doing it right. They encourage rude behavior, and allow them to walk on good people . Sometimes they are raised to hate people… this is what we have now.

Its 5:36am and I’m wondering where the world has gone, why do people keep getting dumber? The population is becoming meaner, more hateful. I don’t see myself beating someone to death because I hate how they look. I can accept difference, I can’t hate on appearance. We all have our peeves, but we don’t often express them like this.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/7370637.stm

I think (being part of the alternative culture) there must be something more to life than this? I remember reading the story above, crying about it. Knowing the stress of living every day with the way people are.. Its hard enough, but to know I’m now risking a lot by going out dressing like I do, doing my hair like I do… it’s a dangerous world.. This happens all the time. Its what the News doesn’t tell you.

If Sophie Lancashaire were a clean cut, average dressed young woman. It would have filled all the airwaves, the sound of silence would be heard from house to house (like the famous Cassie from columbine) Sophie wasn’t like cassie, she was “goth/punk/emo” what fucking difference dies it make? She was a teenager, being herself, expressing creativity. Not the most supported creativity. She was killed for being her, like Cassies head was blown off for believing god. I guess that more TABU right?

I think not.

I wish I knew a world without violence, I wish I knew a world where religion and retardation didn’t get in the way. I wish the children had a chance… I wish parents would HOLD THEIR FUCKING HANDS, feed them right, etach them good from bad, and most of all LOVE THEM, even when they’re fat, black white, gay, strait, ugly, retarded, goth, preppy. Who fucking cares…


Love them, because someday… that’s all we’re going to have.





Its now 6am world, where are your children?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thQPIX2RqsQ

The world is a strange place, human beings seem to have a hard time understanding what is going on around them. Even when its explained in its sweetest sugar coated child like way. They then ask you to explain it to them as if they’re a fetus. How do you do that, plug in a pair of head phones and play Mozart until they stop moving? That’s how my mother did it, some people use coat hangers, occasionally they have them professionally mutilated. The sweet sound of a dead fetus smacking a metal tray.

I for one have never done this, nor would I ever, but as a female I believe its my body my choice. So are the things we choose to talk about, and some of us are a bit more open to what we believe is funny, or sad. I think its sad, although in we world we live in it’s almost impossible to watch the news and hear anything good, so enjoy the fruit while its there even if it’s a little sour. Open wide and let the choo choo plow its sour humorous goodness into your mouth, and you can either choose to swallow it and be happy, or spit it out and walk away.

Walking away is easy, like following road signs, you don’t keep going if it says the bridge is out… that is unless you’re like me and like living life in the strange yet fast lane. I’m a highly respectful person with respectable views. I’m smart enough to have my own blog spot, which is one of the most view parts of this web sight. Would you like to know why?

Because as mean, as stupid, as gross as I may be I make people laugh… that in itself makes being Me so much better. it’s a shame not everyone could live life and see things as they should be seen. Honestly this would make the world a much better place.


Don’t take life so seriously, and live laugh and love every fucking second of it.

Abortion… = GOOD TIMES.


Fucking loving every moment of your rage,

Massacre meg

I have a lot in common with my friends, one thing we have all come to agree with is… people are fucking hilarious when they fall, people are even more funny when they get hurt and make funny noises. But when you fall while wearing a backpack you just look like a fool… all sitting in the snow with your arms crossed acting like it never happened. Even all my friends agree with this statement, only because we know what its like to be that idiot. Its all fun and games until…

You’re scurrying your way up the sidewalk after having dinner with your friends in Boston, suddenly your kidney (which has somehow suddenly been replaced with a pair of scissors by aliens) begins to cause your pain, you do everything you can to ignore this, trying not to rain on everyone’s parade. You’re doing just fine and then some asshole in a backpack is marching up onto the side walk like Hitler. The man takes a tumble and I hear it.. (the faint sound of muscles tearing and a bone going *kkeeeerrrpop*) I realize the man can not get back on his foot because his entire foot is no longer attached to his body with the exception of his skin holding it place. I see it, the shoe is facing me but at the same time im also looking at the back of the guys head, my spit became thin and my stomach turned as I stared unwillingly at his internally severed foot.. Disghusting.

I disapproved right there, he was an even bigger ass because he was wearing a backpack. My friend in a state of panic reaches out to help him asking. “would you like me to call 911?” the backpack guy answers with “that would be nice”.. being a dick in such situations will only cause someone *like me *to kick your saggy detached foot into your ass.

I felt sick enough as it was, I ran into the closest ATM place and shook it off after crying for a second, suddenly I was over come with rage. (for whatever reason)


Eventually I carried on my marry way with my friends, trying to avoid conversation about the subject . Tonight I experienced the ultimate awkward Tee Pee… he must have felt like a tool laying on his belly with a backpack and a backwards foot.


Lets just hope he made it to the right place in one piece. God only knows somehow he may end up somewhere else…


Next time you’re bitching about cancer, aids, kidney stones, or bad days at work.. Just remember.


You could have a backwards foot... and you COULD be wearing a fucking backpack at the same time.



Massacre meg

People are just fucking stupid, and if they aren’t stupid they’re mean… I think this blog is pretty obvious. I’m going to complain about the people with “important jobs“, the people who have these jobs where they make tons of money, and still can’t do it right for what ever reason. (warning graphic descriptions below)

I’m pretty sure being a paramedic can be tough, but sometimes the obvious is just what it is. I have been thinking about this a lot since a good friend of mine sent me a video called “1000 ways to die” some documentary spike TV had a couple years ago?

The whole thing started with two people video taping each other at a gas station in the background you can see a man working on his truck. A second later a huge Mac truck pulls up and all you can hear is sudden screaming. To their curiosity they make sure everyone is okay while the tape is still rolling they capture the haunting image of a man screaming and flailing his arms at his cut in half body... (the truck ran him over causing his to tear in half) L

The paramedics show up to help this guy, they calm him down (who is already in mass shock), they get him together and move his body into two separate ambulances (?) the man lost about an hour and a half of time at the hospital because the medics drove the body parts to TWO DIFERENT HOSPITALS! He died four hours after the accident. He could have been saved if they had not made this mistake.

Okay I understand it’s a tough job but seriously, isn’t it common sense “we can save him hurry up lets bring his legs here and you go over there!”

How do these things happen? Like doctors leaving their medical supplies in peoples bodies by accident? We’re supposed to trust these people and they do things like (drive your body in two different directions causing your death in the end)

The story above bothers me for these reasons.

One- that he was doing his job, a simple mechanic freakishly cut in half by a Mac truck, now dead because he couldn’t even rely on the people who were trying to save him.. And were still left with no explanation is to why they even did this to begin with!

Two- the graphic nature of the poor guy looking at himself or whatever was left of him and his blood curdling scream. It horrified me. Broke my heart even. I hate images of actual human devastation . I hate people but I do have compassion.

I have heard stories about people rotting from the inside out over mistakes doctors have made, or even during organ transplants People having the organ put in ass backwards, or fucked blood transfusions.. Mixing blood types causing death. Doctors dropping hearts on the floor during the transplant causing a bloody mess. I could go on for days… and days and…you get the picture.

Also- I will give twenty bucks to who ever has a logical explanation is to why the fuck this even happened to begin with? (the paramedics going to two different hospitals) I’m being serious.


You can’t save everyone….


Massacre Meg

I'm going to start by saying real quick. Get off your fucking phone before entering a god damn store, don't expect me to ignore you because you're shooting the shit with your great aunts stepsisters mother gay partner. When you walk into a store, its my job to greet you and tell you about sales. I'm paid to do this, don't give me that look of "excuse me, I’m on the phone". you're only going to make me want to talk to you more by doing this. If this call is so important where it can by no means be interrupted. you should not be in public (where dick heads like me can start antagonizing you)

Such instances call for me talking much louder, using the excuse "I'm deaf in one ear". This pisses people off, I’ve seen it. I'm pretty sure one man had a stroke when i asked him how he was doing while talking about his new car to whoever it was. I smiled as i noticed him ignoring me... this is when you walk over to him and speak up so he hears you, make it clear you don't like him and watch the dick bag leave!

We also have those super cool people who can't wait or have no idea how to call people back after they are done cashing out, instead they're standing in front of you fighting with their hubby or kids on the phone placing you in an awkward situation. This is where i stop doing what i was doing to listen, so when the motor mouth gets off the phone i can finally say. "I mean I’m not eaves dropping but it sounds like you got yourself a situation." See how easy it is to reverse the awkward TeePee.

Cell phone drivers.

I heard in the news a couple weeks ago a mother killed her daughter because she was Texting... she drove head on into another car I’m sure you heard about this. I am reading this thinking, "Jesus it’s about time something like this happened!" To hell with her, I’m not sorry for her ignorance. Sometimes stupidity can’t be cured, but I’m sure glad that sometimes fate knows when to Tea Bag people with their own retardation. Like "You've killed your daughter because you were texting someone and DRIVING." (who would have thought) This woman should have all of her fingers *and toes* cut off so she can't even pick up her phone... only to have them cremated with her daughter and placed in an little jar next to the cell phone. That'll learn you!

I deal with lots of people, and 98% of the time these Phone cunts... are WOMEN... that’s right WOMEN!... that reminds me 85%of the female population is gone retarded, they picked up a great skill... using their hand due to excessive texting on their cell phones. Unfortunately everything they learned in school is gone. You know it’s bad when you have a group of those cool girls with the funny colored hair pieces saying out loud to one another. "O.M.G, W.T.F is this, Srsly... SRSLY....LMAO!" (coming from a woman)

People are forgetting how to speak English, this also goes for wiggers, they’re just as bad.. Pull up your pants, drop the stolen bike, put away your boost FONE and pick up a fucking English book.



If any of this blog seems like a familiar situation you have had... but were the one on the cell phone...


I will find you.... You can't hide i can hear you talking to your great aunts stepsisters mother gay partner.